Why am I married to this guy?

I do want to be in this marriage, because I do feel that he loves me. But, I also feel he's here because of what he has. Not that it is alot, but he wouldn't have it if he was on his own. I truly feel he would be on his own if he wasn't so afraid. I'm not afraid, but I love being loved. He doesn't love me like that. Sometimes it is way too much for me to bear. Right now it is. I need someone that absolutely loves me. Doesn't pull away when I touch them.

The best thing we did when we married was to have these beautiful children. I want to do the best for them. I really worry about finances if we were to divorce. I've asked him for a divorce. Now he doesn't want it. I do. I feel like I deserve to be loved. I deserve to have someone hold me.