Hello. I am back. It is alot harder than I thought to get on here routinely. I guess I don't spend very much time, by myself on the computer. I've always got other people around me, and I cannot write personal thoughts in that enviroment.

I am having a pretty boring day. Actually, it's not too bad. I am waiting for the medical examiner to come in and sign a death certificate and then at 4:30 p.m. I am taking Ray up to Chelsea with me to take a casket and wait on a family.

Ray has actually been pretty descent to me. I don't know why. He is so mysterious sometimes. And he drives me crazy. It just absolutely would kill him to be vocal about loving me.

That is what is so different about him and Leland. Leland is forever telling me how much he loves me. I crave it so much. Ray does not understand at all that it is something I need. I have to constantly be reassured of his love. It wears Ray out. In a way I think he would be just fine not hearing it. He thinks he would, but I think he would really miss it.

I am so proud of myself for actually getting on here and writing.

I am going to mess around on the internet for awhile. Bye!